Fiber and Bowel Health
NAME: Lily
TOPIC: Bowels and fiber
STATUS: Catching up on a world of e-mails
PEEVE: Buying a non-refundable nail polish and learning you already own that color
GLEE: Nashville Humane Association’s new kitty cam!
My friends and I must have made one joke too many about those Jamie Lee Curtis yogurt commercials, because it looks like I’m experiencing a little karmic retribution. Three days and counting, to be painfully precise. Honestly, I didn’t even notice things had gone awry at first because, you know, I’m not 112 years old so why would I pay attention to something like that? But then came the bloating, and the cramping, and the uncomfortable realization that everything was not right in my world.
Eagle-eye Rose didn’t miss a trick; she figured it out about five second after she looked at me on Day 2. “Uh-oh, somebody’s constipated.” Of course, she manages to say this in front of my brother-in-law; gross. Before she can launch into her unavoidable barrage of advice, I walk out of the kitchen and motion her to follow.
Did You know?Fiber contains only 0.6 calories per gram vs. 9 calories per gram for fats and 4 calories each per gram of protein or carbohydrate. source
Meat and dairy products contain no fiber. source
Fiber will help curb your appetite. source
“Have you tried drinking coffee?”
“Yes, Captain Obvious. No dice.”
“What about that yogurt?”
“I ate TWO of those yesterday. Nothing’s moving.”
Try These:
Try the University of Maryland Fiber Calculator
“You know, this wouldn’t happen if you ate a healthier diet. Buffalo wings are not a food group. Strawberry margaritas do not constitute a serving of fruit. What you need is more fiber.”
At this point in the conversation, I had to resist the very strong urge to stick my fingers in my ears and start singing the Star-Spangled Banner at the top of my lungs. But the ugly fact was, Rose was right. I do tend to get most of my fruits from cocktails, and I’m more likely to something from the spud family than something green.
What makes matters worse is that I like all that stuff – the whole grains, the fresh fruits and veg — I’m just lazy. I’ll skip breakfast and just have coffee. I’ll snack off someone’s fries for lunch or eat a Power Bar. Dinner is something frozen at home, or, if I’m out, preceded – if not pre-empted – by cocktails. And as I have learned the hard way, trying to catch up on your fiber after the fact is not an effective solution.
My friend D. has this trouble all the time and has to resort to enemas. Shudder, shudder. I don’t think I can take that route, although another day of this “discomfort,” as people so euphemistically refer to it, and I might be driven to take desperate measures. I’m going to try an over-the-counter remedy, and I’ve already changed my diet. Fresh fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch, and definitely more veggies with dinner. And one more thing – some of that Jamie Lee Curtis yogurt. Every day.
