Enjoying The Holidays With Less Stress
NAME: Z
STATUS: Frantic
GOAL: Finishing my pies
PEEVE: Picky house guests
GLEE: Cooking for the holidays
One of the best parts of the holiday season can quickly morph into one of the worst.Yes, I am talking about family.
You love them, they annoy you (okay, maybe they just annoy me) and they are all over your house, bumping into each other and trying to be helpful but elevating your stress level.
I love the holidays, but not holiday frustration. Too many visitors often means too much work and little one-on-one conversation.
Did You know?A good belly laugh shuts off the flow of stress hormones which is triggered by our biological "fight or flight" response when we feel stress, anger or hostility. source
75% of the general population experiences at least "some stress" every two weeks. source
Tranquilizers, antidepressants, and anti-anxiety medications account for one fourth of all prescriptions written in the U.S. each year. source
People are not wolves. We do not have to move lockstep as a pack. I make a list every year of museums, nearby movie theaters, special events, parks and other options to encourage my guests to get out of the house already. Last year, I launched a lunch for the ladies where we actually go out to eat without the guys and whatever kids may be around.
Over the years I’ve developed other coping mechanisms, which I like to call traditions: I think of specific tasks or chores (unloading dishwasher, for example) and ask one person to take care of it. Someone gets laundry, usually just towels and a few odds and ends. Clay mans up and asks someone, usually another guy but not always, to take care of getting full trash bags out of the house. We find most of our relatives are happy to have assignments. Picking one or two food prep assistants also creates a cozy atmosphere for small group chatting, assuming we can banish everyone else from the kitchen.
This year we have members of Clay’s family coming for Thanksgiving and my relatives are coming for Christmas. Both groups are kind and generous. Clay’s family is chatty in that Southern way. My people are chatty in that Northern way and want to talk about politics all the time. I prefer to get out the board games – nothing like a good game of “Apples to Apples” to take a house of minds off the state of world affairs!
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I’d take both families at the same time in a tiny, tiny house over my first husband’s family. We had a big house and plenty of room but my then-husband’s parents were demanding and annoying and nit-picked about everything. When I found out my mother-in-law was allergic to cats, I bought two. And I don’t even like cats.
They stayed in hotels after that and holidays were much more pleasant.
Let Kathryn McDaniel, owner of Lilac Healing Center, answer your questions about stress!
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