It’s the last week of February, our Sugar, Sugar Theme, and we’re thrilled to bring you a guest writer, Chitoka Webb, who exemplifies the All About Women spirit by making positive changes to her life.

One warm afternoon in the spring of 2002, my mentor arrived for her weekly haircut. She usually came with a book in hand to read as I put my Picasso barbering skills to work. Interestingly enough, this day she carried no book. Instead, she donned a large purse that smelled of fresh leather mixed with sweet perfume. These were the days I longed for, because this was my opportunity to talk with her.


So I did. And as I was cutting her hair, she looked at me with still and gentle eyes and said, “Ms. Toke, you are a prolific writer.” I thought my heart would stop. She was a Princeton and Wellesley graduate, a scholar, a professor, an author – and me … I was a barber. I didn’t even know what prolific meant, so when she left I hurried to the “P” section of the Webster’s dictionary to look up the word. I knew then I was no longer just a barber. I was a barber waiting to write.

The fear of actually writing a book kept me from doing it for six years, but I could not let go of the idea that the person I looked up to so much thought I was a prolific writer. Sometimes it takes the kind words of others to help us get comfortable in our own skin and beat the fears holding us back from following our dreams.


Today I say to you, don’t let your scars become your voice. You are a winner.

Chitoka Webb is the author of the upcoming book, “Something Inside of Me: How To Hang Onto Heaven When You’re Going Through Hell,” Out July 1, 2011. For more information check out her website:

Ask our expert, Thelma Kidd, your questions and see her self love tips.


All the above information has been reviewed by this week’s expert.